


Sam's very own angel

by Kajune



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, One Shot, Romance, Season/Series 05
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-25
Updated: 2016-11-25
Packaged: 2018-09-02 03:10:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8649307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kajune/pseuds/Kajune
Summary: Sam is jealous of all the love Dean is getting. If only Sam had someone to love him too.





	

Being Dean's younger brother has often left Sam feeling lonely and unworthy. The man is sexually promiscuous and has, for as long as Sam has known him, slept with nearly every man and woman they've met. Unless there is a need to kill the other person, Dean would offer them a memorable one night stand. These people include monsters even, and most recently, angels.

Sam has only really gotten intimate with a few individuals, such as Jessica and Madison. Both were lost to a tragic death which Sam feels the need to blame himself for. Then there's Ruby, which ended in tragedy too, but not because she died, but because she was a liar.

She tricked Sam into starting the Apocalypse.

Even during said crisis, Dean feels the need to bed someone nearly everyday, even their angel companion, Castiel. The only difference is that he no longer encourages Sam to do the same, which only serves to make Sam hate himself more.

To add salt to the wound, Dean's lovers are people who either live prosperously afterwards, or were saved from certain death thanks to Dean's heroism. It shocked Sam when he discovered that Dean had slept with Gabriel too, when he was known as the Trickster, or the janitor. Dean has even tried it out with Bela Talbot, of all people.

And let's not forget Lisa Braeden, who may or may not have given birth to Dean's child.

Sam just wishes he has a list of his own to be proud of, or maybe just someone he could love whole-heartedly and be loved back. His time with Ruby should have completely discouraged him from trying, but Sam wants to be optimistic a bit, even with all this self-loathing.

Then he realizes, he does have someone.

A being nobody loves or likes or wants, yet one who has promised to give Sam everything.

"Lucifer."

Sam says, and the archangel standing across from him gives him a gentle smile. Even though they're in a dream, inside Sam's head, Sam knows what he's doing is going to make Dean hate him more, but Sam doesn't care, not anymore. He just wants to feel loved for once.

And Lucifer seems willing to provide. He's here after all, in response to Sam's prayer.

"Do you want something, Sam?"

Lucifer asks, voice gentle, almost hopeful. Sam nods without hesitance.

"Yeah."

He removes part of the sheet off the bed, and offers Lucifer the empty space next to him. Lucifer looks momentarily puzzled before he goes to join Sam, and the two end up lying on the bed, side by side.

"Is this what you want, Sam?"

He sounds more confused now, but he's not judging, and Sam is so grateful for the absence of that tone.

"I just...want someone to talk to."

So Sam talks, and Lucifer listens. He starts with how frustrated he feels about Dean, and how lonely he feels because of him. He talks about his unfortunate attempts at romance, and how the lack of happy partners makes him feel dirty and tainted.

Sam speaks for what feels like hours, and with each thing he says, each new topic, Lucifer responds with calm words and contradictions to anything negative Sam says about himself. He clearly understands Sam too, in a way no one else has, and his opinions tend to leave Sam feeling less lonely and more confident in himself.

Eventually, Sam decides he wants to test something.

After rambling about how much he hates doing jobs during winter, he waits for Lucifer's reply, and takes the moment he's finished to lean over and kiss him.

Lucifer freezes, giving Sam the urge to scurry away and pretend he doesn't exist. He doesn't fully regret what he just did, since Sam's need for companionship isn't entirely based on friendship. Knowing Dean has exploited at least three angels, Sam felt it was alright to try it out with Lucifer. Devil or not, he's still an angel and he seems to care for Sam a lot.

Maybe not.

Sam stares at the archangel, willing himself to remain put as Lucifer blinks away the confusion.

Finally, he asks,

"You want this, Sam?"

Sam laughs. Lucifer does not sound offended at all, and this makes Sam feel so damn lucky. He nods, and is surprised (and happy) when Lucifer moves towards him. They share a kiss, and then another, and another, until the two of them end up in each other's arms, their clothes on the floor.

By morning, Dean notices Sam's good mood and doesn't wait to ask about it.

"What's with the goofy smile?"

Sam beams at him so brightly Dean looks like his eyes are hurting.

"I have my very own angel."

It's unclear if Dean immediately realizes whom Sam is referring to, since Sam decides just then to prepare them both a cup of coffee in Bobby's kitchen. Either way, Sam thinks he has the right to have his own guardian angel, and no one, especially Dean, can complain about that.

At last, Sam feels loved.

 


End file.
